More Online Shopping Woes and Recent Purchases

<huge sigh>

If there are any more incoming and outgoing transactions from my bank account to Evans we're going to get investigated for money laundering.

I treated myself to one of the reduced Scarlett & Jo prom dresses last week (and threw in a bra too, I'm in desperate need of a black bra) and they arrived yesterday. Up I skipped to the bedroom with my bag of loveliness and started flinging my clothes off with the enthusiasm of a stripper. Sadly though, so very sadly <weep>, it wasn't right on me. The shoulders were oddly too loose, the lining inside was tight across the tummy (not the outer layer strangely, just the lining) and again, as happened last week, the length just didn't work on me. It just made me look a frump. I don't know what sort of weird talent I have - I appear to be able to take a beautiful dress and give it the sex appeal of a nun's habit just by trying it on.

And DON'T even get me started on the bra. Not only did it give me a bizarre 6 boob affair (the regular 2, the overspill 2 and the side boob 2), the back strap was hideously tight. D cup my arse.

So I flung both bra and dress out of the window in rage, much to the amusement of my window cleaner.

No, I didn't really. I wrapped them back up like the good little internet shopper that I am and consoled myself with the only logical choice. MORE internet shopping.

So, en route we have:

Black Heart Creatives

Simply Be Bird Printed Dress

Simply Be Tartan Print Dress

F&F True Maxi Dress

(Not quite sure about this to be honest but thought it was worth a punt for £7.00)

I also won a rather fabulous denim jacket on Ebay (brand new, originally from Asos Curve) which I think would look superb with any of the above frocks. Fingers crossed the bloody thing fits okay and isn't too long on the arms or some other bizarre issue. 

Hopefully (assuming dresses are okay!) there should be some OOTD posts coming soon. Haven't managed any in the last week as I've been full of a horrible cold and, frankly, looking like utter shite. Aside - where DOES all the snot come from when one has a cold? 

xxx

Ps. Code for 15% off at Simply Be, no minimum spend: UJQU3

Beauty Boxes - Where Have I Been?

Monthly beauty boxes seem to be springing up all over the place lately but I've always been put off due to the monthly commitment. I have enough monthly payments going out thank you very much and I didn't need any more. However...thanks to Steph at Seeing Spots it would appear there's some you can just buy as and when... how marvellous! Why did I not know this? Why did no-one tell me?!

Anyway, I have treated myself to this lovely collection of pretties:

Linky

Which I'll do a full and detailed review of when it arrives :-) 

Do you get Beauty Boxes? Do you subscribe? Are those ones better value? Are they worth it? xxx

The Frustrations of On-Line Shopping.

Warning - grumbling moaning coming up.

Now don't get me wrong, on-line shopping is high on my list of Favourite Things To Do. It's up there with sleeping, eating cake, watching Prison Break and cuddling my dog. But it does frustrate me a lot on occasion. Some things are no-one's fault in particular - like the beautiful Scarlett & Jo dress I bought a couple of weeks ago and which was too long, so looked weirdly frumpy on me. But the thing that really vexes me, that REALLY annoys me is the lack of consistency with sizes. I'm not talking about the "size up if you like it baggy" or "size down if you like it snug", it's when things should fit and they bloody don't. It's so frustrating. I don't know about you but I don't always have the funds available to order 2 of what I want to order, with the view of returning one. It's particularly annoying when it's from somewhere you shop from regularly and know the size you usually are (yes New Look Inspire, I'm talking to you)... I bought a lovely Inspire dress the other day, yes okay it was from ASOS but that shouldn't make any difference should it? It arrived yesterday and it looked shit. It was too tight around the middle but weirdly massively too big across the chest and shoulders. So no point in ordering the next size up as the girls would literally be hanging out for all the world to see.

Why IS this? And while I'm on the subject what's the crack with the difference in sizes from shop to shop? I'm a pretty standard size 24 so surely a 24 should fit me everywhere I buy? No. I can be anything from an 18 to a 26 depending on where I'm buying from. We don't have this problem with shoes do we? Generally (I know there will always be the odd exception) shoes fit, no matter where they're from. I'm a size 4 and I've never, ever, not once, had to deviate from that. Sometimes I'll choose to size up (winter dog walking boots for example, so I can get massive chunky socks on) but in "normal" circumstances I never have to. Why can't clothes be the same? I've been Googling for a while now and while I can find plenty of examples of people (all women funnily enough, there doesn't seem to be this massive variation in men's clothing) complaining about how they vary in size from shop to shop, I can't actually find anything to explain why.

Pah. I know there's more important shit going on in the world and when all's said and done it's not quite the end of the world... but it's annoying me today and it's my blog so my right to moan ;-)

Scarlett and Jo's Dresses of Fabulousness.

Heads up kids - Evans have reduced most of the Scarlett & Jo dresses online, some of them by more than 50%. There is also a 20% off code than works on the reduced items too, making them practically free* really. Code is: 2014AUTUMN plus if you spend over £50.00 you can also get free delivery, using the code: FREE50 Linky to the pretty frocks

(* ever so tiny exaggeration)

I've always loved the prom dresses, as I'm sure everyone reading this now does too (apart from my husband if he's reading - I'm pretty sure he doesn't covet a Scarlett & Jo prom dress but you never know...) but have never previously bought one as either I couldn't afford it (when they're full price) or had an occasion to wear one when they're (frequently) reduced.

So, anyway I've just ordered this beauty for a late birthday trip next weekend to Blackpool:

Yes, I am absolutely aware that I will be hugely overdressed for a trip to Blackpool but hey, guess what? 

I do hope it looks okay or I will sob and scream like a hysterical teenager at a 1 Direction concert be ever so disappointed. The last S&J dress I bought had to be returned as the length was weird on me, it was this one which I loved after seeing it on the lovely Frivolous Mrs D but it just looked frumpy on me, which was very sad. 

Go forth and shop completely guilt free lovely readers... reduced AND a 20% off code... what more could you ask for?

xxx

Necklace of Beauty.

As I mentioned the other day, I ordered a handmade necklace from this lovely lady: Emiko  Highly recommend her... despite the time difference (she's in the US) she replied to all my questions promptly and she made and dispatched it on the same day I ordered! Took only 5 days to come from the date of ordering. From the states! I was massively impressed! Even more so when I opened it:

I am absolutely thrilled with it. It's exactly what I wanted... the size, the length, everything is spot on. I can see me becoming a regular customer. The only tiny minus point I would say (and it really is a tiny thing and wouldn't matter if buying it for yourself) is that it didn't come in any sort of gift box. Was just in a little zip-closed bag with a business card*. So, if you wanted to buy something to give as a gift then do bear that in mind. 

(* was then well wrapped in bubble wrap, in a cardboard box in case anyone was concerned about safety in transit.)

Ha ha, I've just noticed the dog hair on my top in the last photo. Sorry about that, it's pretty much a given in our house that everything comes with a free sample of white dog hairs...

Thanks for reading xxx

OOTD - So Fabulous Floral Swing Dress.

I have sat here for about 15 minutes since writing this trying (and failing miserably) to come up with a catchy title for this post... with inspiration refusing point blank to strike I've gone with boring but factual - sorry about that!

It's not going to win any high fashion awards, it's probably a a little dull by some standards but it's me, it's my very first OOTD on here and I'm a little bit proud. Excuse the slight awkwardness (Tess Munster has very little to worry about) but this is the first time I've posed (sober) for a photo for a long time. As I mentioned before, I'm usually the one taking the photos, not being in them. My lovely husband was drafted in to be the David Bailey and we were both trying to keep on eye on the loony dog who was tearing around the garden at top speed so a relaxing photo shoot it was not.

Dress from Littlewoods: here Comes up pretty generous. I'm in a 22 and I probably could have got away with a 20 and trust me, I am NOT a size 20 or 22!

Leggings old F&F at Tesco - I do love their leggings, they're cheap at £5.00 a pair and they're nice and snug at the ankle. They come up big, I'm in an 18 here.

Bangles old Primark.

Necklace old Next.

Birkenstocks here from Schuh, reduced to £34.99 but only size 4 left on that site.

Hair flower Asos, sold out but this one is very similar.

Sunglasses are my precious Prada and make me feel like a film star every time I wear them (dahling), old now, had them about 3 years.

I love this dress, it's super comfortable and boasts the Fat Woman Favourite - pockets. There's no zips or buttons, just slips on over the head. As said above, runs large to size so definitely size down 1 or 2 if you prefer a snugger fit. It looks black at first glance but it's actually a very dark navy blue. For reference I'm a midget sized 5'4" and it sits just below my knees. I'd actually rather it were a bit shorter but that's a problem I have with a lot of dresses.

I recently bought this jacket and would wear this over the dress in winter, maybe adding a chunky scarf and some biker style ankle boots. 

Oh, almost forgot ;-) toe nails re-done in a much more appropriate-for-me shade:

This is OPI "You Only Live Twice", a lovely, sparkly pinky-red. I do love OPI polishes, they're slightly expensive but unlike some other high end brands (<cough> Nails Inc <cough>) they're worth every penny. 

Thanks for reading. P xxx

One Small Step...

As many of us have experienced, the Plus Size section in mainstream shops is often the dirty secret of the shop, the black sheep of the clothing family, tucked away at the back, as small as they can get away with, surrounded by a curtain saying "Unclean Section - Proceed At Your Own Risk" (okay maybe I made the last bit up). Yesterday I was in my local New Look... it's a BIG store with a massive amount of choice. Apart from the Inspire section which is in one tiny corner, at the bottom of the stairs. I've always found it a bit blah. Very little choice... usually about 8-10 items if you're lucky and at least half of those being the slightly dull safe choices, like black trousers and plain t-shirts/tops/

WELL... bugger me. They've only had a move around of the store and the Inspire section is now huge, by previous standard. There were at least 20 rails with loads of lovely choice. And get this... it's moved right to the middle of the shop. Next to the tills. Where the <gasp> normal people shop! Alas, lack of funds prevented any purchases but I did fondle <snigger> these 2 items of delight and will be purchasing forthwith:

New Look Inspire Dress

Floral Trousers

(I know these say "joggers" in the description but there's nothing jogger like about them in my opinion, they're a soft cotton-y material and really lovely in the flesh).

Sorry, photos are a bit minute, click on them for a larger view or the links underneath take you direct to the website :-)

The trousers are hugely out of my comfort zone but I really loved them and WILL be buying asap. I'd love some suggestions on what to wear them with though... I did think a black t-shirt/top but that's a bit boring isn't it? 

My first OOTD post is coming up soon <wibble>. I genuinely thought it would be weeks before I'd feel ready to post proper photos of myself but the encouragement and lovely comments I've received in just the last few days have given me the confidence <beams> xxx

I'll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want.

Can't beat a bit of Spice Girls on a Sunday afternoon.

Current pretties I want and will sulk like a 5 year old until I get am admiring:

Beautiful necklace - don't know if I could justify £28.00 on costume jewellery but it's sooooo lovely.

AX Paris Neon Daisy Shirt Dress

Lovedrobe Navy Star and Spot Print Dress

New Look Inspire Oriental Floral Print Tea Dress

Asos Curve Dolly Skater Coat

Evans Grey Suedette Ankle Boots

So there you have it - my latest "please, oh please, PLEASE" list. Does anyone have any of the dresses? I'd love to see them on normal people (not that I'm saying the Asos models aren't "normal" before Asos send in their lawyers for slandering their models) ;-) 

xxx

MeMeMe Decadent Nail Polish

MeMeMe Decadent

I've had this a while but forgot about it until I was having a tidy up the other day <bad housewife> so thought I'd do a bit of a review. I don't wear polish on my fingers nails as I have acrylics but I always, always have my toe nails painted. Even in the depths of winter when even I don't see them, my toe nails will be painted (maybe it's so I'm always Berkie Ready should the sun pop out).

Pros:

Lovely wide brush. You know the flat sort? I love that, so much easier to apply polish neatly.

Dried super fast.

Looked okay after 1 coat, could get away with 1 if you were in a massive rush. I did 3, as that's what i always do.

Very matte - obviously this is only a pro if you like that sort of thing!

Price - only £5.00 each.

Cons:

Very matte (lol)... this is a con for me as I like my polishes super shiny (I did use a shiny top coat to help gloss it up a bit).

I didn't like the colour. Not really a con as such as it's all personal taste innit. It was just too brown, too dull and too (dare I say it) grown up (yes, I am aware I am 40) for me. I like my nail polishes sparkly, glittery and preferable pink!

With flash.

Without flash.

Sorry but I'll be going straight up to take this off now, it's just not "me" sadly. Now, where are the glitters?

xxx

Birkies, Bags and Bows.

I'm not quite ready for photos of me to be splashed all over this blog just yet so in the meantime, here's a little post about a few of my Favourite Things (yes, said in style of Julie Andrews - cue "who?" from anyone under 30 <weep>).

The only shoes I really love, I mean really REALLY love and can wear from day 1 with none of that stupid "breaking in" shit of other shoes are Birkenstocks. Yes, I know. You either love them or you hate them. My daughter thinks they're "the ugliest thing ever invented". To me they're like walking on clouds. I wear them as much as humanly possible. First sign of spring in the air, daffodils just popping their little yellow heads up? I fling all boots and wellies to one side with delight and out come the Birkies. When the rest of the world are in their winter warmers from September I'm clinging desperately to my Birkies with grim determination. These are my current favourites, I had them for my birthday in July from my lovely husband and they've barely been off my feet since:

(Toe nails in Rimmel London Cocktail Colour "Baby Bellini" - I love this polish, it goes on so well, dries quickly and at £3.99 each it's not going to break the bank)

As mentioned t'other day (I'm not Northern but I do like to break into a bit of a Northern twang on occasion) I'm a bit of a handbag fan. These are my 4 current favourites:

Cath Kidston:

Ted Baker:

Julian McDonald:

Dalmatian bag from Bobbin' Along. As well as my magpie like love of anything glittery or sparkly I also have a obsession with anything Dalmatian or spotty related! This bag was a birthday present:

http://www.bobbinalong.co.uk/

I don't really "do" small bags. Even my evening clutch bags are the size of an A4 folder, minimum. I see women with these teeny, tiny bags, no bigger than my hand and I am agog. How do they do it? My purse is bigger than some evening bags I've seen out. I don't carry loads of an evening I swear... money (removed from said huge purse), phone, keys, lipstick, brush (small one, promise) and cigarettes. That's it. I reckon those small bags have some sort of magic Tardis quality. There's no other explanation.

Finally... Bows. I do so love a lovely bow. I've just ordered this little beauty and not to put too fine a point on it, I am quite beside myself with excitement:

(I've ordered it in silver glitter with clear mirror <happy sigh>)

It's from here: Custom Bow Necklace

xxx

An introduction to me...

My name is Paula, I'm 40 and I live in Coventry with my lovely husband, 2 children and the spotty love of my life, my lunatic Dalmatian Alfie. I'm really very new to the whole world of "plus sized blogging" - I never knew it existed until very recently and it's been a revelation. It's only been recently that I've come to accept myself as a fat woman after spending the least 20+ years battling with my weight. I look back now and I could weep at all those wasted years, thinking I wasn't good enough (I was), thinking I looked a mess (I didn't), being a slave to the damm scales and the numbers in my clothes. I've never had any fatty friends, all my friends have either been slim or trying to be slim (not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with wanting to lose weight - I'm not. What I mean is there were no happy fatties for me to relate to). To discover this whole world of women who proclaim "yes, I'm fat and I'm gorgeous and I'm fucking happy" has been like all my Christmases coming at once.

I love clothes, handbags, nail polish and make-up in that order! I'm not a shoe lover particularly. New shoes HURT! Well, they always do me anyway. Always. So I only ever buy footwear when I actually need it, which cannot be said for clothes and bags. New bags especially never hurt. They don't pinch, rub, cause blisters or make my feet bleed. In the older me days (when I was always fighting my weight) they were my saving grace because you're never too fat for your bag are you? I've seen the change in my shopping habits though since my "acceptance" - I've bought about 10 dresses* and 1 bag. Go figure.

* I love dresses. Bloody love them. After years of avoiding them (step away from the pretty dresses fatty, the shapeless tunics and elasticated trousers are over there...) I've discovered, to my joy, that they actually look okay on me. I hadn't worn a dress since my wedding in 2006 so I've got a lot of time to make up for ;-)

The thing I'm most nervous about with this blog is photos. Having spent years avoiding the camera ("give it to me, I'll take the picture" always worked well) it's going to be a challenge to be happy to be the one in front of it. But I'll do my best. In the meantime here's a pic of me from last year on my lovely daughter's 18th birthday:

And just because he's bloody gorgeous, the afore mentioned lunatic Dalmatian:

This photo won 2nd place in an online dog show in the "Naughtiest Dog" category!

Hopefully I shall have some interesting posts over the next week or so... I've just took delivery of 3 new dresses and a biker jacket, plus I have a beautiful hand-made necklace en route which is sparkley glitter and a big fat bow - 2 of my favourite things; hence the name of this 'ere blog. 

Thanks for reading. P xx